We’ll pretend that this is US Weekly and I’ll give you full celebrity details (the non-fabricated version).
Lindsay Lohan Nearly Ruins Cynthia Rowley Show: Thirty minutes prior to the show’s start, several men thoroughly buffed the gold runway, which was then roped off. No one was to walk on the runway; guests, even celebrities, were to walk around it. The lights dimmed and mere seconds before the first model came out, Lindsay Lohan came strutting down the catwalk. As she took her front-row seat, press swarmed her, and one man crossed the line—literally. In an attempt to get a good shot, he stood on the shimmering, mirrored runway and held his camera a few inches away from the starlet’s face. Almost instantaneously, his press credential was yanked off and three security guards escorted him out of the venue. Meanwhile, Lohan sat there basking in her glory, grinning from ear to ear with her silicone-filled lips.
Kris Humphries and Scott Disick Draw a Crowd at Jill Stuart: During Fashion Week, the easiest way to tell that a celebrity is present is to look for a swarm of photographers. The Jill Stuart show was a bit different. Instead, a smell of arrogance wafted towards me and at that moment, I instantly knew Scott Disick had entered the building. A mesmerized, 13-year-old mini me ran down the steps to the runway and eagerly asked Kris for his autograph. He willingly and meticulously signed the back of her Fashion Week booklet, then handed it off to Scott. Annoyed that he was being interrupted by a young girl rather than an A-list celebrity, he rolled his eyes and scrawled his name across the page. After licking the palm of his hand and smoothing down his overly hair-gelled mane, he furrowed his brows and continued to pose for the cameras. (Okay, I might have added that last part in for a dramatic detail, but for further evidence that he truly is bombastic, please note that my spell check replaced Disick with Dipstick. Apparently Windows Live Writer agrees with me.)
Stay posted for the next edition in celebrity gossip. Read about Nicki Minaj’s new BFF and get the real scoop on the Housewives (I can’t promise that you’ll be surprised).
Also, please be aware that these pictures are not my own personal photos for a number of reasons. First and foremost, I have a level of dignity to uphold (read: I had a job to do—I couldn’t be snapping photos while dealing with seating crises). In addition, I had to keep tabs on all other celebrities in the building, so that I could bring you this exclusive coverage, obviously. And the real reason: the zoom on my camera was broken.